Blogging is for really smart people to express their ideas, or it is for complete idiots to spout off about shit they don't really know. I am one of the spouters. I don't know if more than a handful of people will read this, and those will mostly be people that find this site by accident. Sorry to waste your time. I'm sure that family and friends will discover this and read it and then I will be in some hot water, because I plan on using this medium to be completely honest.
I am going to express my thoughts and opinions without trying to impress anyone. Really over half of the lies that I tell are to make someone happy. We all do it. People will tell their kids that a horrible sketch they spent 10 minutes on is a work of art. We make such a big deal of it that we put it up on the fridge. Why do we do that? Cause we want to constantly inspire our children, and not let our opinions stifle their creativity. I agree with that. I would never tell one of my daughters that her "dog" was horrible, but that doesn't change the fact that it looks like some kind of alien elephant. I applaud the effort without mentioning the result. The problem is I was taught from an early age that lying is wrong, while being constructively lied to by my parents. Big mixed message. This has created allot of conflict within myself.
I developed a lying habit as a kid. I lied to impress other kids, teachers, and my parents. This is a habit that I have refined in the few years since I reached adulthood. That is to say, I don't just make up completely unbelievable stuff. I research my lies and add a little truth to keep them easy to remember. I lie now to do much of the same things that I did as a kid. I lie to my peers to impress them, and I lie to my bosses to get in good with them. Does this make me a bad person. I don't think so. It makes me normal. How many men of my fathers generation been busted for saying they were in Vietnam when they were back at home. That is an extreme example of what I'm talking about, but it is one that is easy to understand.
What has taken me so long to say here, is that I am not intentionally going to lie here in the process of becoming better. The urge to lie to impress the "anonymous masses" is huge. Who doesn't want to be liked? This is not going to be about impressing anyone but myself. Is that a lie? Maybe I'm saying that to impress your rebel side. I don't know yet, but hopefully before too long, I'll be able to answer that.
Thing is at this moment I feel honest, and as long as I feel that way, I will continue this journey. This honesty might cause discomfort for some of my loved ones during this, but I hope they understand where this is coming from and not get all 'stuck on the details'. If your still reading this you are a moron, but don't take that the wrong way.
Tommy
I am going to express my thoughts and opinions without trying to impress anyone. Really over half of the lies that I tell are to make someone happy. We all do it. People will tell their kids that a horrible sketch they spent 10 minutes on is a work of art. We make such a big deal of it that we put it up on the fridge. Why do we do that? Cause we want to constantly inspire our children, and not let our opinions stifle their creativity. I agree with that. I would never tell one of my daughters that her "dog" was horrible, but that doesn't change the fact that it looks like some kind of alien elephant. I applaud the effort without mentioning the result. The problem is I was taught from an early age that lying is wrong, while being constructively lied to by my parents. Big mixed message. This has created allot of conflict within myself.
I developed a lying habit as a kid. I lied to impress other kids, teachers, and my parents. This is a habit that I have refined in the few years since I reached adulthood. That is to say, I don't just make up completely unbelievable stuff. I research my lies and add a little truth to keep them easy to remember. I lie now to do much of the same things that I did as a kid. I lie to my peers to impress them, and I lie to my bosses to get in good with them. Does this make me a bad person. I don't think so. It makes me normal. How many men of my fathers generation been busted for saying they were in Vietnam when they were back at home. That is an extreme example of what I'm talking about, but it is one that is easy to understand.
What has taken me so long to say here, is that I am not intentionally going to lie here in the process of becoming better. The urge to lie to impress the "anonymous masses" is huge. Who doesn't want to be liked? This is not going to be about impressing anyone but myself. Is that a lie? Maybe I'm saying that to impress your rebel side. I don't know yet, but hopefully before too long, I'll be able to answer that.
Thing is at this moment I feel honest, and as long as I feel that way, I will continue this journey. This honesty might cause discomfort for some of my loved ones during this, but I hope they understand where this is coming from and not get all 'stuck on the details'. If your still reading this you are a moron, but don't take that the wrong way.
Tommy
Keep going. This is a great release and it only gets better after this - Chad
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